If There Is A Will...

In early elementary school, I remember the anxiety of having to bring home questionable test scores to my mother. I never really tried to put forth too much effort in school or with my homework and I don't know why. Going to school every day was nothing more than another laborious chore to be completed with toleration.  My hunger for knowledge and new experiences however, came from home and family.

Education was of major importance to my mother. As a single parent and elementary school teacher for eighteen years, the meticulous detail she put into the preparation of her classroom where she taught so many young minds came from love. Always big on reading and specifically of murder mysteries, she hired a carpenter to create a bookshelf in our hallway at home and crammed it full with all forms of encyclopedia, classic literature of old and current novels of note.  It came to a point that with just about any question I asked, the response would be "go to the Wall and look it up". As far as I could tell her thinking was, “I’ve made it available to you and going for knowledge is up to the individual. But you had better use it”. This act of love made a big difference in my life. In the long run, it made way for a determined self-reliance that to this day has served me well. By cornering me into putting in effort without outside assistance, my mother gave the OK to try out any number of experiences in life. So when it came to my aspirations I knew I could dream about it, fall in love with the idea, and then try it myself. This for me is some of what made life interesting. By peering into the lives of people in history, learning to understand why some activities and principles exist today and gaining a fascination for regular people who get big things done I learned to understand the scope of possibilities.

Most parents want nothing more than to raise children who will have a much farther reach in the world than they as adults were able to succeed. Of course not all parents are able to be directly involved within the lives of their children for a vast many reasons. But not living in proximity of your child does not always bar absent parents from planting seed.

When the time and connection you have is limited, you’ll want to give something that over time can make an impact and have a profound effect on a person’s life. Within your current local school district there are countless opportunities your child will have for active and exciting growth right where they are. When it comes to forming life habits and beliefs, for a little person these years are critical.  Consider the fact although you are out in the world battling the things of life, your little people are also facing hurdles that require adult perception. Again I’m speaking to parents who would rather not be absent but either who for various reasons are unable to be present or those who know full well they lack the proper tools to parent.

Consider the regular school activities:

If your child has an opportunity to go on a school field trip and her mother asks for financial assistance, even if you need to walk the payment in yourself, there should be no doubt in your mind the urgency of making it happen. P.E.R.I.O.D! When your son meets a fork in the road of life that is the difference between the best affordable school opportunities in his area or “ah he’ll be alright!” don’t be the Bobo dad, but make it happen. Or if you must be an out-of-the-picture-dad, then at the very least hover without hovering. Meaning, contribute out of camera shot…but actively contribute for his best interest according to his desires.

Once a child is old enough for school so much of what happens in life is out of our hands no matter how much effort we put into planning and surveillance. Allowing your child to have many multiple opportunities and experiences opens the minds door to even greater possibilities.   Helping your child to develop a habit of asking questions and searching for answers, I believe is one of the best gifts a parent can give. I’m not saying by the simple act of asking questions alone but having the intestinal curiosity to put in work and seek out the answers.

CONCLUSION:  Clearly real parents want and expect more for their children and being an absent parent is no exception.  Even if you can’t be physically present, if you’re going to give a gift, make it the gift of curiosity and self-reliance.

NOTE: As adults we too will want to continue to keep obtaining knowledge and experience for multiple reasons. Click here for a few ideas.

Bruce P Collard  -

#youngcubiclesoldier

You can be You, reach your Dreams serve God & still Enjoy Life

Now It's My Turn | Rise Above the Ordinary:

Although written for young adults or teens who due to circumstances beyond their control were without emotional or financial support ANYONE CAN MAKE USE OF THESE PRINCIPLES.

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